Living in Sydney in January is a great time for live music, with plenty of summer music festivals and side shows. This year we ditched the festivals and headed to a range of side shows instead, so far we’ve seen Lykke Li, Santogold, Jamie Liddel, Festival First Night, DJ Assault and Hot Chip.
Maybe I’m getting old, but sometimes it would be nice to pay double and have half the amount of people there? Sometime people in the crowd tend to detract rather than add to the experience.
Here is my rundown of the usual suspects:
The Tall Guy: He always find me, and stands in front. Time to move.
The Short Shover: Ok your short, but it doesn’t mean you have to be so rude about it. To get past a person hand on the back and an excuse me will always grant you a step to the side – an elbow shove will just piss everyone off.
The Fat Guy: Usually ok if he is standing beside you, as they provide a nice blockage preventing people trying to squeeze in. The only danger is they probably had McDonalds or Hungry Jacks and will rip sneaky farts.
The Undersexed: Get a room already! If you are just into sloppy pashing and groping go hang out the back already and keep it to yourselves, stop falling all over everyone else.
The Sweaty Guy: Ew, Sydney is HOT in summer. Just try not to get too close as, yes, the whole shirt is sopping wet and clinging to his body.
The Pretty Girl: There is always a few, comes from no where in the middle of the set and proceeds to dance like a maniac all over the place and everyones feet, usually hair is long and out flicking in everyones faces. The worst is when the guy in-front decides to put her on his shoulders, then you get a face full of gyrating ass. I’ve never been more tempted to give someone a massive wedgie in my whole life.
The Sloppy One: Usually there is one that just took it too far (or has a lower tolerance for drugs than their friends). They end up kind of like jelly, stumbling all over the place and slurring their words, friends passing them round holding them up not knowing where they really are but still enjoying themselves immensely.